Me and the novel

So what the heck should I blog about today? I actually wanted to play some games, but then I thought I should blog in here since I'm working on improving myself. I've been writing nonstop this past week and it's been going great. It's supposed to be a short story but it's over 10K, but that's okay because it's helping me to get in touch with myself and just helping me to be happy. It's like sitting in the driver's seat of a race car, pushing the gas pedal and letting the car ride, that's what the writing's been like and it's a good feeling, it's almost zen like. Especially today I was so in the moment that I didn't see the time or the words fly by. The next thing I know I've written 2000 words and I still had the energy to write more, but I thought I would stop there for today and I can continue on tomorrow.

On the bus last night I was sitting behind this lady and there was these drunk guys sitting on the seat by the back doors and they were playing with a balloon and just being noisy. The balloon landed on the lady's head and fell behind her in my seat, then fell to the ground and went under her chair. I wasn't going to give the balloon back to those guys. I had a knife in my backpack and I smiled. But I didn't use it. I had this feeling come over me. It was a protective feeling for the lady in front of me. They were rudely apologizing to the lady saying they were drunk, but it's best to ignore drunk people. I had this strange zen feeling going on in my mind. I didn't just whip out my knife and start waving it around. I calmly held my book in my hand and continued reading but being aware of the drunk people. It was like they weren't there, but I was also ready to whip out the knife if necessary. There's something about knowing when and when not to whip out the knife, and I knew that time wouldn't be a good idea because it would only aggravate them. Instead I would use my zen ways to calm the situation and then if that didn't work, the knife would come out. Now how can I use that in November's novel? Because that would be great and that's the kind of novel I want to write in November. Right now, I'm turning into how the guy changes, so I need to remember how the guy was, so I can put that transformation in the novel. This novel is writing me before I write it, and I like that. It's why I chose it.

Life has been really good to me so far. Maybe it's the different outlook I've had on it? Writing and yoga. With both, I haven't missed a day so far. Do I try going back into tai-chi today? I had meant to, but what if I fail? Well, if I do, I do, the important thing is to try and get back to that person I want to be again. That weird person, the one with all the answers that aren't answers but lead you to questions that give you answers that you find within yourself, that were already there, you just needed someone to guide you to it. That person! That person hasn't existed for a couple of years now. I remember when I used to give really good advice to MJ, and lately I just couldn't do it. Life just seemed so bleak and hopeless. They're dead, nothing you can do. But really, they're still alive. They're alive in all of us and I can see that now, couldn't a few months ago.

Anyway, time to play games now! Maybe.