Me and the novel

So what the heck should I blog about today? I actually wanted to play some games, but then I thought I should blog in here since I'm working on improving myself. I've been writing nonstop this past week and it's been going great. It's supposed to be a short story but it's over 10K, but that's okay because it's helping me to get in touch with myself and just helping me to be happy. It's like sitting in the driver's seat of a race car, pushing the gas pedal and letting the car ride, that's what the writing's been like and it's a good feeling, it's almost zen like. Especially today I was so in the moment that I didn't see the time or the words fly by. The next thing I know I've written 2000 words and I still had the energy to write more, but I thought I would stop there for today and I can continue on tomorrow.

On the bus last night I was sitting behind this lady and there was these drunk guys sitting on the seat by the back doors and they were playing with a balloon and just being noisy. The balloon landed on the lady's head and fell behind her in my seat, then fell to the ground and went under her chair. I wasn't going to give the balloon back to those guys. I had a knife in my backpack and I smiled. But I didn't use it. I had this feeling come over me. It was a protective feeling for the lady in front of me. They were rudely apologizing to the lady saying they were drunk, but it's best to ignore drunk people. I had this strange zen feeling going on in my mind. I didn't just whip out my knife and start waving it around. I calmly held my book in my hand and continued reading but being aware of the drunk people. It was like they weren't there, but I was also ready to whip out the knife if necessary. There's something about knowing when and when not to whip out the knife, and I knew that time wouldn't be a good idea because it would only aggravate them. Instead I would use my zen ways to calm the situation and then if that didn't work, the knife would come out. Now how can I use that in November's novel? Because that would be great and that's the kind of novel I want to write in November. Right now, I'm turning into how the guy changes, so I need to remember how the guy was, so I can put that transformation in the novel. This novel is writing me before I write it, and I like that. It's why I chose it.

Life has been really good to me so far. Maybe it's the different outlook I've had on it? Writing and yoga. With both, I haven't missed a day so far. Do I try going back into tai-chi today? I had meant to, but what if I fail? Well, if I do, I do, the important thing is to try and get back to that person I want to be again. That weird person, the one with all the answers that aren't answers but lead you to questions that give you answers that you find within yourself, that were already there, you just needed someone to guide you to it. That person! That person hasn't existed for a couple of years now. I remember when I used to give really good advice to MJ, and lately I just couldn't do it. Life just seemed so bleak and hopeless. They're dead, nothing you can do. But really, they're still alive. They're alive in all of us and I can see that now, couldn't a few months ago.

Anyway, time to play games now! Maybe.

Radvent Day 7: Playing

What were your favorite games as a child? What did you like to do with your classmates or the neighborhood kids? How did that affect the person you grew to become?

Block tag. We had these blocks behind the school and if you stood on those then you were safe from getting tagged. Kind of like musical chairs. That game was pretty fun.

I enjoyed playing cops and robbers. I actually brought that game to my old elementary school when I went to visit one day. I moved to another elementary school because we moved. So anyway, cops and robbers were fun, and I guess that affected the person I grew to become because I like using my imagination, I like creating stories. And the funny thing is my family wasn't really supportive of my imaginary games. Being Superman, or being a cop, those were just kid games, and a phase I had to go through. Writing about a cop or a superhero is not really serious.

I really loved skipping! Skipping rope I mean. Playing with girls is a lot of fun (and yes, unusual for an elementary student!). Today, I like hanging out with girls, it's fun, they're fun, they know how to have fun. Guys are boring, all they do is watch sports all day, drink beer, and try to make the moves on women who would rather be with sliced bread. Not all guys are boring, but there are seriously boring guys. Guys that are real idiots, guys who have never picked up a book

I also enjoy doing "girl" things, like cooking or baking. I do those things now. Playing dolls I didn't like so much until I created my own doll! It was this invisible guy! Now that was fun! Hmm, I think I have an idea for Day 6.

I didn't really enjoy playing cars with the guys. They're just interested in rough and tumble, basically just crashing into your car. I mean that's kind of boring. I like my car to be running from the cops and then having to cut into someone's law for escape. It's the imagination thing again.

All this has caused me to be a loner because I really don't get along with a lot of guys. Except NaNo. I think there are like 5 guys I hang out with. All those guys danced at the TGIO last year and the year before that.