I'm back, I think

It's been so long since I've written in here. 6 months I think and for all those months I've been depressed because I had to do something I didn't want to do, but now that that is done I can move on with my life again, but I really don't know what I want to do. I feel like these past 6 months was a test for me or something, or maybe something to help my NaNo novel for this November. I remember saying how I wanted to write something that was close to my life with some guy who's finding himself, but then I didn't have the part where he hit rock bottom or close to it, so maybe these past 6 months was my research. I could barely go outside and I didn't realize how much energy I didn't have until now because now I'm really surprised with the amount of energy I have.

I've also been going to church (again?) but it's been online which is interesting. You kind of just sit there while a pastor preaches, kind of like church I guess, and it's really convenient because it's before I go to work on Sunday and I'm always working Sunday, though these past few months I've had the occasional Sunday off, but I could never find a church I feel comfortable in. The last one I found was in Morinville with this friend of mine, but it just felt like I was leashed to her. And I needed her dad to drive me there. I also couldn't make it every Sunday, so I faded away from that. This church is good because I'm able to make it every Sunday and there's something about actually going every Sunday and even if it's just sitting down there it makes me feel like I'm not running away from God or anything like that. Not sure why there wasn't a sermon on Sunday when I really needed it but maybe it was a message from God saying you don't need me today, you're doing alright.

There's just something about attending a real live church offline that I'm not comfortable with. You can't just sit in the back and listen to the sermon, you have to meet people and then go do bible study because you might die. Some of the people you meet are cool, and some are just real whackjobs. Or I shouldn't say that since they're "Christian" but they're just really judgmental.

Well, I'm off to do some meditation, we'll see how that goes. There's that saying that God works in mysterious ways, and I believe he's doing that right now, but I'll take it because I could use it. Right now, he's one of the few people in my corner.